I must admit that I am quite envious of my son's soon-to-be college experience and I wish I could return to college myself, but do a better job of truly experiencing the offerings. I spent so much time worrying about getting a job after college and starting out on my own that I did not take full advantage of my college life and I really regret that now. If I could have done something differently back then, I would have tried to get out of my own way because on quite a few levels, I sabotaged my own future by worrying about it so much back then and I am paying for that mistake right now. Ironic, isn't it?
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Would That I Could
We are just at the tail end of a weekend that included yet another college visit. It was an important one for us as this was the first college that my son actually wanted to see as the other two were more my idea than his. While he has a very comprehensive list of 'wants,' topping the list is that it not be in the state in which we live. He is not a lover of 'here' (my apple did not fall far from my tree, it seems) which concerns me because I am hoping that his desire to leave the state does not make him overlook a great college fit just because it is here. I have told him time and again that he does not have to worry about me showing up unannounced at his school...honest, I swear...if he chooses a college closer than four hours away. I am really struggling with the whole concept of him leaving altogether,however. He is my baby, my little guy, he is not ready to leave me or, more to the point, I am so not ready to be left. I honestly don't have any idea how I am going to cope with this but I am counting the minutes to the summer before college when I am going to have to find the almighty coping skill that will get me through it. I can guarantee you it will not be pretty. My husband is already prepping for my emotional breakdown by strategizing how to get my crying, hysterical self into the car when it is time to leave campus after freshman drop off. Good luck to him as I would actually like to see him do it myself...I can be very determined where my children are concerned.