Tuesday, July 9, 2013

With Age Comes Wisdom?

My mood today is as conflicted as our weather du jour, stormy with a minute or two of sun but then back to the dark, black clouds. The past five years (yup, we have been living here that long now) have been such a roller coaster ride but it seems that for the past three, we have been rolling down the track at breakneck speed, no new climb in the tracks ahead let alone any plateau at all.  We seem to be living in a time of our lives devoid of calm, consistency or stability. It frustrates me 24/7 and despite constantly trying to change our situation in countless ways, we seem to be stuck in the downward spiral with a Munch's 'The Scream' look plastered on my face. Pretty visual, no?

In the ever lengthening list of things that tend to annoy me of late, I have discovered that change is one of them which surprises me as I have always embraced it, often seeking change over staying put or sticking with the safer option.  I suppose I craved change because it often happened selectively so that I could manage it, even savor the feeling of the difference or newness of the change. Right now, there are too many things changing at once and none by choice, just necessity.  Aren't I all sugar and spice today?  Some days I feel as though I really could use a drink (nope, migraine trigger), a month long vacation (too expensive) or simply some calm (too elusive, but I think just what the doctor might order).

If only a doctor could write a prescription for calm, but I bet the pharmacy would probably be sold out already with the luck we have been having of late.   Hopefully soon, the winds of change will turn and blow some positive energy our way because all this negative energy is really draining. I saw this quote on FB and thought it really summed up my life right now.  I am, however, eagerly awaiting the day when it will not be so applicable.

"God never gives you more than you can handle.  Apparently, these days God thinks I am a bad-ass!"

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