Thursday, January 24, 2013


Three years and 18 days.  A terribly long time to be out of work but as of today, we get to change that status to employed.  I must admit that as thrilled as we are to finally have a job, the victory is surprisingly hollow.  After having fought a very long and very difficult battle, and battle it was, our victory brings with it a whole new set of problems as the salary is far from what we are used to and the job is located here...and we all know how much I fantasized about leaving here, now don't we?  My mom, an incorrigible optimist (did I mention I take after my dad?), wants me to look at this as a stepping stone and to continue to work toward my dream of moving back east. I must admit that I do get frustrated by our new found need to 'make do' with what we have and I long to return to my old life, not my life of three years ago, but the one before that when I was genuinely happy.

 I have learned a lot about people and relationships over the past three years and I have certainly learned a lot about myself.  I may have joked a lot about going over the edge, but interestingly,  I never really did go over.  In addition, I learned that it is going to take a long time before I feel safe with this new position if I ever really do at all.  I had everything that I wanted before we crashed and burned in Boston all in a mere 5 weeks.  We were completely blindsided. To be honest, I am still trying to move past that.  I remember standing on the beach there in March not believing that I could ever be that happy and then...well, let's not go there right now.

So, if life is like a book, let us close the cover on this horror story and shelve it way up high, out of reach, so that I never have to see it again. Then let's try something new, a different genre. Let's crack the spine on a new story written with humor and a happy ending because although we may not have been earning a paycheck these past three years, we have definitely earned our chance at a happy ending.

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