Monday, May 7, 2012

Little Girl Lost

I marvel at my daughter's wonderful outlook on life.  She adores going to school, has lots of friends and is talented not only academically and athletically but musically as well.  Most of all, she is the consummate joiner of any and all activities and she approaches them all with enthusiasm and determination.  Rarely is she ever down in the dumps--a place I often frequent--and I admire her for that which is why I am so sad today as I left her at school crying. She is worried about our current life situation and the fact that her dad was again leaving us to try to find work back east.

During this time, I have taken on the role of cheerleader extraordinaire stepping out of my comfort zone of a black/white reality while attempting to show my children that we need to view life as an adventure where there may not always be easy to come by solutions to our problems.  When faced with questions about where we might be living, I shake my pom poms of enthusiasm and reassure them that no matter where we are , we will be together, learning about the new area and discovering new and fun things to do.  As for leaving their friends--again, out come the pom poms and I do a little number about staying in touch with current friends but looking forward to the opportunity to make new friends as well.  I am a pro--there is no question that I cannot handle with a shake of the pom poms and a pseudo-positive outlook.

News flash--my daughter was not buying my rah rah attitude this morning (after 27 months it does start sounding lame) as she is looking for some answers, not generalities, not 'our life in theory' but cold, hard answers as to when daddy is going to get a job and where we will be living.  I have no answers for her and for a person who thrives on control and decisiveness, this is killing me. 

I think the only thing for me to do today is to hang up those pom poms (they are pretty tattered by now anyway), and hope that her friends could do for her what I could not this morning and that my happy little girl will be waiting for me at pick up today.

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