Redently, I seem to be on a quest not for the perfect pair of shoes, though that journey would most definitely raise my spirits, but for something far more personal and intangible--unlike those breathtaking Manolo Blahniks I have been 'virtually' fondling on the Neiman-Marcus site of late. My search requires a skill that I never truly possessed entirely but seem to lack even more of of late; I am looking for the patience required to get through this impossibly difficult period in our lives and not lose my mind in the process. At night, I tell myself that the next day is a new one filled with promise and, hopefully, potential change and then I approach the day as such. I am at my best when my schedule is overloaded and when I am so mentally busy that I don't have a moment to think. Thinking is not my friend these days for sure.
Some days the strategy works but I have to admit that most days it does not. Often, I feel as though I am doing so well and then...wham...something just brings me down like today. My son received his acceptance letter to the HS near Boston that he was supposed to be attending come September. I am so angry that this happened to us again and that my children need to be thrown back into the tumult of not knowing where we might living or where they might be going to school. I am simply furious!
I've heard that patience is a virtue. I am obviously lacking in moral excellence these days and I am far too cranky to care about who knows it.